House of love becomes house of refuge

Page 11

Vinnia van Overdyk could ask for no better endorsement than that which she gets from her children, both flesh and blood and foster children.

For close to 30 years van Overdyk and her late husband John have opened the doors of their Calgary home to children needing love, attention and structure.

"My kids used to bring kids home that weren't getting along at (their own) homes. They found our home stabilized them, then they would contact their parents," explained van Overdyk. "When their parents found out they were safe, they left them where they were."

About 20 children, some nieces, others cousins, or simply friends, called the van Overdyk's place their home on a temporary basis. They were added to the Overdyk's four children: Jeannette (now 38), John 37, Malcolm 35, and Robert 31, and Vinnia's two step-daughters, Willie 47 and Elizabeth 45.

But it wasn't until about eight years ago, with their own children away from home, that Vinnia and John decided to embrace the legal system and provide a home for children they received through the official channels.

Vinnia was approached by a friend twice. It was the second appeal six months later that finally got Vinnia to say yes.

"My husband asked for Native children when we first started," said Vinnia, who is from northern Manitoba and speaks Salteaux. Her mother is Ojibwe and her father is Cree. "Because we had been involved in the Native community for quite a long time, we saw children out there without their parents. We knew the need was there."

But over the years, the van Overdyk home has been a refuge to non-Native children as well.

Fifteen children have made their way through the home-15 children who have received love, direction and the knowledge that what they think and feel matter.

Vinnia still recalls the first two boys she fostered, and the pain of letting them go.

"After a year, I had to give them up," she said. "That was really difficult."

Now, she gets around that feeling of loss by taking in children almost on a permanent basis. Classified as an advanced home with the Native Unit of the Rockyview Child and Family Services, Vinnia cares for children who have multiple issues.

And the joy of making a difference in a child's life far outweighs the struggle.

"Just the pleasure of seeing a child grow," said Vinnia. "They seem to open up, blossom, with just the care and love."

Perhaps the most important touch a foster parent can offer, said van Overdyk, is the ability to listen.

"Just letting them talk. Sometimes that's all they needed, someone to listen to them."

There are minimal rules in the van Overdyk household: come home from school or let someone know where you're going to be after school; keep your room clean; and when you're old enough, start learning some life skills, such as cooking and doing laundry.

"All my own sons learned to cook," said Vinnia, with a laugh. "I'm not a very good cook. I burn water."

Today, Vinnia is foster mother to four boys, now aged 12, 10, 10 and six. The children have been with her for four-and-a-half years. They were with her when her husband John passed away a year ago from cancer, one month after his diagnosis. Vinnia and John had been partners for 40 years. Today, son Malcolm is home with Vinnia helping out and providing a role model for the foster boys.

It hasn't been an easy road for Vinnia giving care to children who are in desperate circumstances, and the road has gotten that much harder with the passing of her husband. But patience, "lots of love," and flexibility have made the difference-and so has the ability to turn to a higher power for strength and guidance.

"There's been lots of prayers," said van Overdyk. "I talk to the Big Guy up there on a regular basis. Sometimes when I'm really encountering a situation when I need help, that's who I call on to give me the patience."

And there is no doubt that she is doing a tremendous job.

Foster children who have since passed through her home phone her on a regular basis orstop by to visit when in the city.

"I've gotten a few Mother's Day phone calls. That's very special. I've got one (former foster daughter) in Vancouver who calls me collect. That's special," she said, with a hearty laugh. "It means that we have made a difference."