Who's hot and who's not in Indian Country

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The influence that Hollywood has on teenagers is overwhelming to a point where people are fighting over Star Wars tickets, talking like Austin Powers and killing every good song that comes out of a soundtrack. The summer of 1999 was one season packed with blockbusters starring the best actors in Hollywood. This of course was the time when big movie promoters made the most loot.

It's when we found out: Who's hot and who's not in Hollywood?.

But then again, do most of us in Indian Country really care? Many of us were on the powwow trail and didn't have the time to spend eight bucks on every good movie that came out. We do, however have eight bucks for every good Indian taco and burger that can meet our needs during supper break at a powwow.

Whenever we do have time to look at Hollywood, it's not Hollywood in Los Angeles. It's Indian Hollywood that's spread all over the place. It's also finding out who's hot and who's not in Indian Country. So let's find out. Let's start at the local scene and work our way up to Indian Hollywood.

In Saskatchewan, Don Burnstick is hot. He's like the Indian Jim Carrey. To women he's like the Indian Ricky Martin.

So who's not hot? I would leave that one up to you. I mean, who's old, boring, and basically stinks? You must know someone.

So who's hot and who's not in Canada?

Well, for this answer we should turn our heads to the television and our three favorite networks: CBC, CTV, and Global. I call this Rez-TV; for most of us, this is all we get, and it sucks. I still can't get over those horrid memories when my mom would say, "Children, gather around the TV, the Beachcombers are on."

Many people will probably agree with me when I say, "Canadian television really doesn't live up to its hype. Well, not until the new Native channel got up and running Sept. 1. This will likely add one more channel to Rez-TV. I heard there's going to be powwow pay-per-view, Hockey Night in Nunavut, and Indian-made movies like Big bear 2: The European Spy that Snagged Me. It will be the sequel to the CBC-drama Big Bear and a spin-off to Austin Powers 2. All of this is not confirmed yet, so don't believe everything I say, I mean, I mean, . . . you are getting very sleepy.

Now let's take a look at Indian Hollywood. In the past we have seen many people who have risen to fame and fallen faster than a fancy dancer with loose moccasins. Look at Native rapper/actor, Litefoot. This guy came along and made a career as the very first Native rapper to make it big. He also hit gold on the big screen with lead roles in blockbusters like Mortal Combat 2 and Indian in the Cupboard. But that was years ago. It makes you want to say, "What ever happened to Litefoot?"

Now, who's hot in Indian Hollywood? None other then Adam Beach from last year's Smoke Signals. His career just seems to be getting better every time he makes a movie.

Now let's leave Indian Hollywood and go back to Rez-TV and the new Native channel that everyone is talking about. So far I've heard that Nelson Bird (host of the Indigenous Circle) will be an anchor for the daily news. Every week they'll show a feature movie and they may even have sitcoms. Up to now they've kept many things confidential.

If I were the director of programming, I would have a Native version of Jerry Springer playing every single day. Don Burnstick would produce and star in his own soap: Are Those All My Children?

And children's specials will have Indian muppets singing powwow and round dance songs, kind of like Sesame Street, but one based on the reserve.

Who knows what the future will hold for Native people and communications? We already have newspapers, magazines, and radio stations that serve our needs. Now a new channel will make things all the more great. The question is: Will we ever find out who's hot and who's not in Indian Country? Will we ever come to a point where we can criticize our own people's music, movies and entertainment? It may sound wrong, but like all people we are not all perfect when it comes to acting, singing, and directing.