Silent Voices...Helping Hands

Page 34

This is a love story that shouldn't have happened. I'd figured that my journey

was safe. I was doing my work and everything was mapped out. My role in society

was simply to tell my story. Well....it's not turning out that way. This Blessed Creator has given me more of a challenge. I've got a story to tell....listen on.

I am emotional, however it has become compassion. While visiting some of the jails in Saskatchewan and Alberta, I kept my boundaries. I was safe until...I opened my heart and ears and listened to the Brothers' and Sisters' stories. Their past and present journeys have led me to accept them and allow them to become my friends and extended family.

Now, how does this relate to HIV/AIDS? After hearing that HIV is rising and is now 40 per cent higher per capita per institution than before, and 10 times higher than the street level, I became concerned and I needed to understand why. Little did I know my heart would become a victim of the "why's."

In workshops, the questions came. Where are the target groups who should be at these workshops? They are the labeled, marginalized groups. Some people ask who are they?

It should be clearly understood they are female prostitutes, male prostitutes and inmates. Condoms and needle exchanges are essential to their well-being.

However, I've discovered more that has me emotionally charged. At several recent meetings I've attended, there were tears and frustration displayed by me. I call it

a fighting spirit because of the urgency.

With prostitution, drugs and inmates, the three things they have in common is they have all been in jail. Doing time...such a lonely word. I then recognized that the migration of this virus is from the reserve level to the city--why? Living conditions and the demoralizing of the spirit. Move to the city to be away from power and control of local politics and reigning families and find that living in the city is no easier because the opportunities are few. Crime seems to be the available job opportunity and prostitution and drug-related crimes are easily accessible. Until you are caught; then into the system you go.

Once your're released you try not to go to the same crowd, so you are back on

the reserve. Nothing has changed and this vicious cycle never stops.

What happens on this journey? We all become co-dependents and others make our decisions for us. Band offices become Indian Affairs, Welfare Services in the city rule us, and, of course, in the jails it's the Bundy's, screws and powers that decide on the inmates' needs.

No direction, no self esteem, because they have been demoralized. As inmates, their spirits are weak. Little do the courts or judges ever read that an inmate has been forced into sex at age five and into prostitution at the age of 10 years old in foster homes. He carries these hurts as a young man at 25 while doing time. His form of escape is to slice wrists countless times just to break free.

Add to this the fact that they are Aboriginal who may be HIV positive. But all they see is charges without consideration.

In the jails stories like this are true. I've heard them and, believe me, I've cried. They are true. This story I've mentioned deserves to be written by a compassionate writer. Anyone who is sincere in his story, call me through the paper. A story is powerful. Call me.

As for attitudes of inmates, people say they put themselves there. Not really. While there is a lack of programs in the jails and in the local Aboriginal community, resources available come with hefty fees due to lack of funds. We are bound so tight. The inmates are restricted to growth behind bars.

Attitudes of some of the guards demoralize our people every day. Their spirit

is being beaten continuously. It's a sad experience to hear. Somehow I believe that Corrections has adopted the model from the Residential School era: Discipline through humiliation, power and control.

Otherwise, alternatives are suicide or jail. What a choice! What a vison for our Brothers and Sisters. And this is why stats are heavy with our people living with HIV. We live in a demoralized society.

What is needed, you ask? Aboriginal people and others of color should be

treated like human beings. Programs on job creation and schooling must become available inside and outside. Hard-core drug treatment centres must be developed to deal with Aboriginals and inmates who are not HIV positive. One of the best centres to model these treatment centres is the Last Door Recovery Centre in British Columbia.

If these things don't happen, the cycle never stops and our people will be left worthless and they become the "Silent Voices." Inmates suffer with a lack of nutrition. Expensive chips and chocolate become the substitute but it doesn't ease their pain from abandonment, rape and abuse, and their loss of childhood memory.

Many fall prey to HIV. Jails are death. As one (Native) liaison worker recently told me, "Ken, we're losing our girls!! They're dying, Ken, so fast!" And I could only cry.

My anger then focused on which disease is tougher or uglier--Politics or AIDS.

Recently, Dr. Stan Huston, who treats inmates with HIV, commented "You're being set up to fail," referring to the inmates. And now I see it's true.

When it comes to health and attitudes and AIDS, I can see it's reality. "Who cares" because society just doesn't care about the inmates. We have been abandoned once more by our people, by our leaders. Where is our dignity...I cried.

The bottom line is that the leadership has to take a direct action to review the issues and concerns of justice. Building our own jails with compassion and sincerity, not money. Money kills, If we do not, on our reserves, HIV/AIDS will grow beyond epidemic proportions. Leaders will be held accountable because they have not done enough to prevent this insult of treatment to our peoples, to prevent the virus of HIV in the communities.

To the Dens, Lauras, Kevins, Rockys, and Chrissys--don't let them brea your spirit, stay solid and pray that your Silent Voices are heard. And yes it's sad someone like me who has AIDS and has little time left to live has the time for you. And I wonder how many leaders make the time. You're not forgotten...I love you, my family.