Self-forgiveness just the beginning

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"Why didn't I know this before?"

That question came up time and time again with people participating in a parenting skills course at the Grand Rapids First Nation held from May through August of this year. The course covered child development and parenting techniques from infancy through to 17 years of age.

Now the six-month course is being offered in the other seven member communities of Swampy Cree Tribal Council (SCTC) in Manitoba.

The parenting skills course got its start two years ago, said Ida Moore of Wichiwaywin Psychological Counselling Services in The Pas. "I was in a case management meeting in one of the communities, dealing with a high needs case. One of the offshoots of this was the need for parenting education that existed in a number of cases I was dealing with at the time."

Moore attributed the root cause of poor parenting skills in Aboriginal communities to the residential school system.

"People are afraid to deal with these issues because of the guilt and shame they feel due to life mistakes. People blame themselves a lot, not realizing the situation exists due to colonial interference in community systems," Moore explained.

The parenting skills course starts with therapeutic intervention, helping participants to understand the reasons why their parenting skills are lacking. Wrapped up in this in a big way, said Moore, is the issue of self-forgiveness.

Once the participants understand why they are relating to their children the way they do, they move on to learning about child behavior and development, as well as different ways of parenting.

Each month of the course covers a different stage in child development. The first month, for example, looks at children from newborn to three years of age. First, a parenting consultant presents information about how children grow and develop at this stage.

The parenting consultant in Grand Rapids was Vivian Young, a member of Opaskwayak Cree Nation. Young has an education degree and is currently working toward her master's degree in early childhood education.

At this time participants also do an activity called a "make-and-take" where they make simple board games or crafts which they take home to share with their children.

"At the first session there were about six to eight people when Vivian came," said Moore. "The following month when Vivian came, there were about 12 to 15. The attendance has really built."

After the first session of each month, participants meet weekly for the rest of the month. A resource person from the community co-ordinates these weekly sessions. In Grand Rapids, the community resource person was Connie Young, who has been a prenatal resource worker for five years.

First there's a sharing circle where parents talk about how things are going, or raise particular challenges they've faced. The community resource person then presents techniques for parents to use in disciplining their children, for example, or in handling teenagers.

The majority of the parenting skills course was delivered in Cree. The course was developed with input from Frontier School Division, Grand Rapids Health Authority, Grand Rapids Educational Authority, Cree Nation Child and Family Services and Cree Nation Tribal Health. Twenty-one participants completed the course held in Grand Rapids and received a certificate.

Funds have now been received from the Aboriginal Healing Foundation to continue running the parenting skills course, and a program co-ordinator is being hired. Funding has also been received for a youth program called Eagle Quest.

With the parenting skills course firmly launched, planning for Eagle Quest is now moving ahead. It will be a weekly program for children from ages five to 17 that will include personal development skills such as conflict resolution and problem solving; first aid training; cooking and sewing; camping and survival skills. Children will be encouraged to talk about their feelings and emotions, to develop listeningskills, and to develop a solid understanding of themselves as individuals.

Eagle Quest will also incorporate Aboriginal culture, history, spiritual values and teachings, and Elders will take an active role in the programs.

Elders, youth workers, teachers, parents, and chiefs and councils have provided input into development of the program, and a comprehensive video about Eagle Quest has been produced by Swampy Cree Tribal Council.