Road to sobriety challenges long-time alcoholic

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When Hobbema resident Vern Spence noticed the one thing important to him - a life with his family which was slowly slipping away - he decided to take steps to correct it.

Once the operations manager at the Panee Agriplex at Hobbema, Vern was admittedly a workaholic where family life was secondary to his job.

Before turning into a workaholic, he admits to having a drinking problem for a long time.

He simply liked to drink, so much in fact that it began to interfere with his personal life.

That was 15 years ago.

Like many alcoholics, when Vern quit drinking the taste of alcohol was replaced by a taste of facing life without drinking.

How does someone, with a new found sobriety, spend his time? Time that was once easily explained away with the bottle?

For Vern, working around the clock was one answer. But there was still something missing in his life.

"I spent a lot of time away from home working. It was while I was managing the Panee Agriplex that it dawned on me what I was missing. It was spending time with my family," Vern

acknowledged.

It has been four years since Vern left his post as manager of the Panee Agriplex but he says the decision was one that has made him much happier today.

"I realized my family is more important to me than anything else in the world. Back then I was neglecting them," Vern said.

Today, Vern spends most of his time with wife Marlene and their four children; Cameron, 19; Cory, 13; Kyle, 10; and Laurie, 5.

Vern still works but tries to keep that to winter months so his family can share more time together during the summer.

"One day they are pulling at your pant leg and the next day, they're all grown up. I want to enjoy them while they are still children," Vern smiled.

He's a member of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) now and is quick to add that there are now four AA groups operating at Hobbema.

From Aug. 18 to 20 an alcoholics Anonymous Roundup was held at Hobbema.

Held at the Elders Drop-in Center, people from as far as Sturgeon Lake and Camrose participated in the three day event.

Vern says he first became involved with AA out of curiosity.

"I was at church when I inquired about AA. That Sunday evening I went to a meeting and haven't looked back since."

According to Vern, the fellowship at AA meetings is tremendously uplifting.

"If found a lot of support when I first started the program. This roundup proves by the many people here that AA does work. It's a good sign for Hobbema. Meetings such as this one

offer a great support system for alcoholics," he noted.

Now, he's become an active speaker at many AA functions and one thing he fins is that men, more often than women, have a harder time dealing with their alcohol problems

Realizing they have an alcohol problem is harder for men to admit because society demands so much from men, he said.

"Men should never cry, they must be strong and so men tend to keep things bottled up inside, if you'll pardon my expression," said Vern.

Vern is a firm believer that Elders who attend AA meetings have a lot of wisdom to offer a recovering alcoholic.

"An Elder once said men are raised to never show personal weaknesses. He said it is wrong and stupid. I believe he is right.

"If you hold everything inside, sooner or later it will blow up in your face. Usually, when it does blow up, the alcoholic often hurts family members or the friends closest to him," Vern

said.

Vern said it doesn't make you any less a man. More so, it shows you're more a man when you show you have feeling the Elder told me."

A person can learn and deal with feelings when involved with AA, he noted.

"When I talk with people about alcoholism, I tell them to get rid of all the poison inside them. I tell them to forget the past because it does no good dwelling in the past.

"The program stresses, one day at a time, and that's the approach that should be taken. Living in the past will only drive you to drinking," Vern stressed.

According to Vern, denial is one ofthe harder thins an alcoholic has to deal with.

"Admitting one is an alcoholic can be very hard. But once an alcoholic admits to himself that he is an alcoholic, then he or she is on the road to recovery. It's a disease, it could strike

anybody," Today, Vern lives his life one day at a time.

"Working at a marriage, spending time with your family, going to work, all these things don't come easy.

"But good things in life never come easy.

"Sure it may be easy to be a drunk, lazy, a procrastinator but what's it all worth?

"The good things in life may not come easy but I would have it no other way," Vern said.