Premier sings out the pain of rez school

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With the last of the day's sunlight piercing the trees to light up the stage, Stephen Kakfwi, singer, songwriter and premier of the Northwest Territories, performed a set of three songs at the South Slave Friendship Festival held Aug. 14 to 17.

Only recently has the 52-year-old taken to the musical stage, inspired by a local fiddle player who, just before dying in a plane accident in Fort Good Hope three years ago, told Kakfwi's brother that people who play music should share their gift.

That instruction, combined with steps the premier has taken to come to grips with a childhood spent at the infamous Grollier Hall residential school, has him going public with his experiences through song.

I remember the years;

When they took all the children;

And they locked them away;

There they taught them to pray.

The premier's manner was easy, but his message powerful when he sang the words to "Inside the Walls," the finale of his act.

"We had a lot of pain and trauma in these places and after 30 years I'm finally able to say something about it," said Kakfwi, who was sent to the Inuvik school, 250 kilometres north of his log cabin home in Fort Good Hope.

Later he was sent to Fort Smith for the lonely days of high school where he found solace in reading, especially poetry, and in the words of American folk artists he read in a monthly music publication he was able to get his hands on.

"Bob Dillon was poetic, and how profound the lines were; they had a message. I was just blown away by this guy, but never heard his music because we led such a sheltered life," the premier said.

And he tires of those demons;

That keep him from sleeping;

Alone in the walls and the hills

of his mind.

Four years ago, following decades of tossing and turning in the night, Kakfwi sought counseling. The cause of his sleeplessness was the suppressed memories of the abuses that occurred at night in the dormitories of Grollier Hall where kids were awakened and beaten.

Kakfwi didn't write "Inside the Walls" about himself alone. His experiences are shared by others who went to these schools, the effects of which are far-reaching.

He tries to be a father;

For his wife and his children;

And he hides the pain;

That will drive them insane.

It wasn't until 10 years ago that Kakfwi was first able to say "I love you" to his mother, then in her 70s.

"We have no idea how to be parents because our parents didn't raise us. We're so screwed up because of the abuse, physical and sexual. We have no idea what normal is," said Kakfwi.

And to add to insanity, last year, the premier found himself in the unusual situation of having to apologize on behalf of the government of the Northwest Territories to the survivors of Grollier Hall.