Ottawa Report

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Test your Indian know-how

It's quiz time again! Grab you paper and pencil and test your knowledge o the itty-bitty happenings in the world of Native affairs. All the questions are multiple-choice and remember ? neatness does not count.

Question #1 involves the national Inuit organization, the Inuit Tapirisat of Canada (ITC). The ITC held its annual assembly in Iqaluit recently and it passed a resolution which said: (a) that the next annual meeting be held in the Bahamas; (b) that anyone who wanted to run for president of the organization would have to speak English; (c) that the president be paid a bonus of 1 percent of all funds he or she raised from charitable foundations; (d) that Inuit leaders be removed from office if they're found drunk in public; or (e) that the Department of National Defence be asked to name its fleet of nuclear submarines after Inuit villages.

Question #2 involves the tribal police force at the Louis Bull Indian Band in Alberta. The band formed the first independent Indian police force in the province earlier this year. The police force is also notable because: (a) it has overlooked minor offences involving booze but it has cracked down on marijuana; (b) it's the first police force in Canada that requires its officers to speak Cree; (c) it's almost the only police force in the province to be armed with .357 magnums; (d) it's the first police force in Canada to have male cops wearing braids; or (e) the first police force that's funded by a job creation program.

Question #3. The chief of the Westbank Indian Band in British Columbia used to be Ron Derrickson. He is now at the centre of a federal inquiry into possible wrong-doing and financial hanky-panky. The inquiry was established a year ago by the Minister of Indian Affairs. The question is: How many times over the past ten years has Ron Derrickson and the Westbank Band been studied, audited or investigated by federal authorities? Is it: (a) 3 times; (b) 7 times; (c) 14 times; (d) 19 times; or (e) 23 times.

Question #4. This one involves the parliamentary committee on Native affairs. The committee used to be one of the busiest on Parliament Hill. But it hasn't held a public meeting since March and doesn't plan to meet again until the fall. Is it because: (a) the committee had to slow down to prevent it from overspending its budget; (b) the Conservative members on the committee are just too busy; (c) the committee decided to take the summer off like other committees in Parliament; (d) that the committee chairman won't call any more meetings until he gets a salary increase for being the chairman; or (e) the committee decided that since the First Ministers' process is over there is nothing to talk about?

Question #5. This one has to do with the Native Business Summit. That, you remember, was the big conference and trade fair that took place in Toronto early last year. The federal Government gave the organizers over $2 million to stage the show. The question is, how did the Native Business Summit do financially? Did it (a) make $300,000; (b) make $100,000; (c) break even; (d) lose $100,000; or (e) lose $300,000.

The answer to question #1 is (d). The ITC delegates apparently, were fed up with the reports about the drunken escapades of some of their leaders at this year's First Ministers' Conference. So from now on, the leaders and employees of the national and regional Inuit groups will get the boot if they disgrace the organization.

The answer to question #2 is (c). The peace-keepers on the Louis Bull reserve are packing .357 magnums ? just like Clint Eastwood and Dirty Harry in the movies. The Edmonton city police and the local RCP manage to get by with .38s. The Louis Bull police, however, have a cannon on their hip. They might as well pain a motto on the door of their squad cars that says "Go ahead make my day."

The answer to question #3, believe it or not, is (e) 23 times. All the investigations, including the current one, showthat Ron Derrickson hasn't stolen any money or broken any laws. What he did do over the years was work non-stop to make money for himself, his relatives and his band. If Ron Derrickson was a white businessman in Toronto, he's been respected by society and honoured by government. Instead, he's being investigated by the government ? again.

The answer to question #4 is (b), that the Tory members are too busy. At least that's the official excuse. The committee chairman is Andre Harvey. He hasn't given anyone the impression yet that he's committed to the Native cause. This spring he gave up trying to schedule committee meetings because he said the Conservative members were too busy. (By the way, it takes just three Tories to hold a committee meeting and there are 208 Conservative members in the House of Commons.)

Question #5 was a trick question because I don't know the answer myself. The reason I don't know is because the organizers won't tell me. The organizer of the Native Business Summit was a Native consultant in Ottawa, Tony Belcourt. The week before the summit he said it lost money but he wouldn't say how much. The rumour is that this monument to Native business lost about half-a-million dollars. So if your answer was (e), a $300,000 loss, give yourself half-a-point.

So add up your score gang. If you got them all right you probably know enough about Native Affairs to tell a parliamentary committee a thing or two. If you got them all wrong, you probably need to sit on the committee. And if you couldn't add up your score or if you won't tell what it is, you're probably one of the organizers of the Native Business Summit.