From One Raven's Eye

Page 7

'ALIENS' IN OUR MIDST

Do you know that we, all grownup and adult me, are surrounded, all the time, everyday by ALIENS. That's right, a whole tribe of them. And they have lived in this world of our as long as we have. Well no, on second thought, maybe not quite. They probably arrived three-quarters of an earth year later.

These aliens come in all shapes and colours but the one thing they have in common is they tend to be short. These little space cadets can zip out of sight in less than a blink and reappear somewhere inconvenient just as quick. They can grow out of their clothes overnight or wear holes in them trying to.

No this isn't the National Enquirer you've picked up by mistake. This is "Windspeaker," (still the AMMSA paper), and, of course, it is kids we are going to be talking about.

If you don't think kids possess extra-terrestrial qualities, watch what happens when a very young one toddles into a room. Watch as the years of adulthood drop off

the people in there. Pretty soon they are all talking turns making gooey sounds and scrunching up their faces trying to get that kid to crack a smile or emit a peal of laughter. If that isn't power of some sort I don't know what is.

And do you see, feel, taste, smell and hear things differently? When you are out shopping and your kid starts acting up, get down on your knees to check out what she sees. From where you are, it's all lights, action, shiny stuff and bargains. All they see from where they are in size tens, cement and other kids suffering the same as they are.

If you need further proof, let them choose the groceries next time or have them decide how often they'll take a bath.

Some of you are maybe saying at this point that's meself who is spaced out one. Nay, I've got five toes firmly planted on what passes for reality these days. Okay, kids

are human beings the same as us and should be treated as such. Now that you've got me thinking seriously again let me tell you what's I've been told about them.

They say we are given kids as a gift. Our part in their lives is to help them along the journey of their days as best we can. The sad part is we can only keep them company part way. But the happy part, ah that makes up for it all. The happy part is that in raising them we end up raising ourselves, too.

Now before we go any farther, let me say we have but one kid which makes me a parent alright but my situation is almost completely different than those who have three or five or even eight kids. A month ago Nathan had six buddies over for a birthday party. Well it took me and the furniture a couple of very quiet weeks to recover. How do you people with enough kids to start up a volleyball squad manage with all those years?

And another thing, this week's discussion will center mainly to kids under nine years of age. Or at least to the age when they'll still hug you in front of friends or ask you to snuggle them at bedtime. It's a very precious stage in which we hold each other as very willing emotional hostages.

Okay, so speaking as an underqualified parent to you more qualified ones, let me ask you this. How is a person to know when they are doing the right thing?

A rule at our house is that Nathan has to be in before it gets dark. This is to make sure he has time for a few chores and to get his homework done and partly to protect him from the creepy sort that roam the streets at night. Other Native parents let their young ones stay out past my kid's bedtime. So who's right?

This is when the advice of a grandparent would sure come in handy. They have raised a lot of people who have turned our alright. With families for one reason or another spreading out, this important role is getting left further and further behind.

Also the change in lifestyles means we've lost a lot of discipline and structure built into how we are living. Say out at a blueberry picking camp, kids have certain little roles and expectations that increased the older they got. Ou there, there was no gas to sniff, windows to break or reasons to wander around all night long.

The result is we are left to do more and more parenting on our own. Lots of times that leaves me with a scary feeling hoping I'm not doing something seriously wrong.

I grew up in a non-Native household, so I tend to be aware of the difference in how anishanabe's go about raising their kids. The only problems with trying to do things the way everybody else does is that different people have their own ways of going about the thing. A lot of these methods and ideas conflict. Some let their kids go ahead and wreck their toys and say nothing. Others try to teach them to take care of stuff. Either way, though, by the time the kids becomes an adult he or she ends up with a bunch of readily identifiable Native features in their behavior. I guess it's a matter of going about the raising it in accordance and how we see it based on all our other beliefs, values, principles or whatever you choose to call them.

All the learning from shouldn't just go one way either.

Many adults could learn from kids how to forgive and forget. They get over fights in about a minute and a half and once in awhile it takes as long as overnight. Tony and I had words 10 years ago and we still silently snarl at each other every time we meet.

Also, if you give a kid even a little time and affection they give you ten times as much back. One Christmas morning we spotted a kid walking past our place all by himself so we invited him in. He ended up spending the day with us. Now at age sixteen, the cops around there consider him a menace and social workers say he's the worst case they've ever seen. Every time we go home, though, he comes around and visits us and thrusts us to listen to how he is feeling.

Wouldn't this old world be so much better off if we could all learn to take a little love and make it grow that much.

Maybe some of you are remembering by now after all this glowing talk that these little pace aces can and do turn into screaming around space demons. They do tend to act their ages sometimes, don't they? And just as often they are downright immature as well. Being a parent at times like that can cause you to pull at your air in despair and frustration. We must be handling those moments pretty well because I haven't seen too many bald parents anywhere I've been lately.

One day last week I was going around feeling dull and gray. The sky and the whole city had gone that colour too. Then on the bus some kid caught my eye and started smiling real shy at me. Well when a kid does that, who can resist smiling back. On the way to the office and back I had the same thing happen with two others kids. Now that doesn't happen to me all the time and I'm not reading anything more than lucky coincidence into this, but who cares. Three smiles later and I couldn't help but feel better. But that's how it goes though, doesn't it? Sometimes we raise those kids and sometimes they end up raising us at the same time.

Until next week, then, I wish you all a fine sunny seven.