My distorted life with the nuns

Page 7

An open letter to Jane Stewart, minister of Indian affairs:

Not one moment of my day goes by that I don't think of my past. Every day I sit and wonder about how people were unjustly done, and who did it to them, such as the Dionne sisters. I'm very happy for you ladies (bless your dear souls). Like the Dionne's and the Japanese and the Chinese, all were compensated, but we, as Natives, are once again considered incompetent to handle our own destiny.

At the roundtable, Canada and the European Parliamentary Association gathered to talk about human rights. Bill Graham, who was chairing the meeting, or one of the Canadian spokespersons there, told the people at the roundtable that they were shamed into giving back the Native women's rights. Well it seems to me that the shame didn't go far enough. We are still Native ladies floating around with no land base. The minister of Native affairs apologized and again we incompetent Natives are told to face more rehabilitation.

I would like nothing better than to see and hear the churches apologize to us Natives. Every church knows for itself who was involved in the abuse, and mental and physical cruelty that was bestowed upon us.

The child abuse and the military way the Grey Nuns treated us was something else. The eight-and-a-half years that I spent in this school (Blue Quill residential school) in St. Paul, Alta., is a memory of heartaches. Eating sour potatoes, drinking milk that was already separated - leaving good milk for the staff, cream for the staff and us the leftover of one per cent skim milk. Drinking tea that sat in cream cans for weeks on end. The tea was warmed up, and skim milk was put in it, which turned purple. That was our drink with our meals. Meat pies floating in yellow grease was one of the meals. It is just a few things that come to mind.

There is more to be said throughout Canada and United States about Aboriginal people that suffered. Since even though we were just learning the English language we were told we were sinners. We were forced to go to confess whatever sins we committed. In this little closet, the priest would ask us what kind of bad thoughts we had in mind (we didn't have a clue what bad thoughts were in the English term). Since I didn't know English that well I created sins a lot of times just to get the nuns off my back.

I used to suffer with eczema all over my body when I was nine. The nuns used to wash our bodies with disinfectant soap. Afterwards, the nun and the priest would sit there and explore my body. I felt the shame so much. I felt hate and hopelessness. I couldn't go home for 10 months out of the year. If we ran away, our heads were shaved clean and we received 30 lashes for running away. In addition, we had to go eat in the aisle, facing the boys with our plate in our hands to shame us, for whatever amount of days the nun thought we deserved. I hardly missed a week that I didn't feel some nun's whip across my body. For whatever reasons, these nuns had it in for me.

If ever I learned an English word, the word that would be nailed into my head would be exploitation. This word exploitation fits so well with the federal government and all the church abuse. They must or should clear their conscience, and not be trying to rehabilitate us anymore! They should financially compensate those that are still alive, that suffered through the residential school days.

I have been hurt for too long, and I don't want the federal government to rehabilitate me. It just didn't work, especially when we still have no land base, no homes. We need money and a land base, not rehabilitation. If the government can dish out money and land into counseling and etc., they should dish it out to the individuals who need it now.

Canada is always highly praised for human rights and equal rights etc. They always try to help other countries. Well, Canada, please clean up your own dirty backyard before you try to clean up someone else's. And please startwith the Bill C31s of 1985.

As far as human rights go, it is not for us Native ladies, our children and grandchildren, for we are always considered to prove ourselves for something that we didn't create. We should be considered top priority, because it is our way of life that was taken from us by force.

From a person that lived it, and is still living it!

Nancy Scanie