It's time to play the election promises game

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Ah yes, can you smell it in the air? It's springtime, and a young Canadian's fancy turns to thoughts of love, barbecues and federal elections. Now that our fearless leader, Jean Chretien, has called an election, all of us loyal Canadians will soon be trudging off through the streets to cast our democratic ballot.

And the theme of this year's election?!? A simple six syllable word that puts the fear of God, or the electorate, into the candidate's heart. That word? Accountability. Say it with me. Accountability. If you can say it, spell it and understand it, things could get exciting .

Remember George Bush, the former grande fromage from below the border and his infamous promise? "Read my lips! No taxes." That came back to haunt him like drinking the water in Mexico. Our own beloved Sheila Copps made a nasty little booboo herself with her vow to resign if the G.S.T. wasn't scrapped. God bless her when the accountability issue was brought up, and she did resign. Of course, she's back now, but how can you hate somebody whose dream it is to give every single person in the country a Canadian flag. Remember the days when politicians used to promise "a car in every garage and a chicken in every pot?" Now it's just flags. Talk about cutbacks.

And speaking of the G.S.T., need we mention that word to Chretien without him braking out into a cold, cold sweat. "What G.S.T.? I promised what?" Kind of sounds like the things you find yourself promising on a first date, doesn't it?

And let's not forget that court case in British Columbia where a private citizen is suing the provincial government for not keeping its election promises. Is this the right thing to do? I don't know. I never took an ethics or political science course in school.

So, in honor of the election of 1997, I want to propose a new political game that every one can play. It's a lottery, of sorts. You, the voter, choose three election promises and record them with an independent agency set up for just such a purpose. Then, just before the next election, the person who has chosen the three or highest number of unfulfilled promises, wins!! And as they say, to the victor goes the spoils, the prize would be a complete life-time exemption from the G.S.T. In theatre, we call this a metaphor. One dripping with irony, I might add.

I think this little game should be called Liberal Liar's Lottery, or LLL, or the L CUBED. You can also play this with the NDP, the REFORM, P.C. and every other political party, but the alliteration doesn't work as well.

I know I probably sound very cynical and skeptical, but one can't help remembering that 80 years ago the federal government instituted this little thing called the income tax, saying it was only a temporary measure to help finance the First World War. Well, didn't we win that one? Along time ago?