Elder combats loneliness by volunteering time

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In her younger years, Violet Sampere's life was filled with tragedy, hardship, and despair. In her later years, she is experiencing a sense of peace and fulfillment in her role as an Elder.

Violet was born in 1925 in the remote village of Kitseukla in northern British Columbia. Raised by a blind mother, Violet had to work hard in her early life. She did not attend school and taught herself to read when she was an adult.

A difficult marriage and the deaths of four of her eight children caused Violet much anguish over the years. She recalls that she used to cry "my heart out. I used to get drunk and... [was] complaining to the Lord saying 'Why me, Lord. Why me?'"

Finally, she "learned to grieve and pray. It helped my sadness."

In the last few years, Violet has undergone treatment for breast cancer and has had a triple heart bypass. Due to her health, she decided to reside in Vancouver where she can receive prompt and thorough care.

Unfortunately, that means living in a bachelor suite that she describes as a cubbyhole. She also found it was tough to be alone and she would "cry in the house" from loneliness.

Violet's life improved when she started attending the Our Elders Speak Wisdom Society at the Vancouver Aboriginal Friendship Centre. There she began socializing with other Elders.

"We just talk and it's good to learn from one another. Sometimes I laugh and get the loneliness out of me, and I meet lots of people. It's a good experience."

She is also called upon to share her knowledge of First Nations' traditions with people of all ages from within and outside of the Native community. Violet believes that Elders have much to contribute.

She stresses that getting older is not always an "easy free time for Elders. When you retire you sometimes miss the good times and it [can be] sad to be old."

Amy Eustergerling, a co-ordinator at the friendship centre, agrees. She finds that there is a "big call for Elders" and their knowledge. Through the Our Elders Speak Wisdom Society she hopes to help younger people foster "traditional values. . . the Elders have an important role and some of them, like Violet, are called upon a lot. Some of them are run off their feet, but they like it."

Violet's days are sometimes spent visiting Native Elders who are in nursing homes and feeling isolated. She attends school classrooms and passes on the traditions taught to her by her mother.

Counseling the grief-stricken and talking to young adults about relationships and the value of "going like a team of horses" are also part of her work. She says these interactions make her feel good.

"The only thing to make your life happy... [has] to do with yourself. I got my close friend and she has arthritis. . . One time she said, 'I wish somebody came over and helped me with cooking.' I run over and I do it. . . I make myself happy cookin' for her and she's happy too.

"If you wanna carry hate in your heart, your face is gonna wrinkle in no time - before you hit 50. The hardest thing to do is forgive people that hurt you."

Lessons and values learned in her childhood are important to Violet, and she cherishes the opportunity to share them. She stresses that she doesn't write books.

"It's all up here (in her memory). When they ask me, I start telling and I keep on telling. It's good to tell the little ones. Maybe some of them are wise and listen and obey."

Many Elders want to participate in traditional activities, but either they have never learned them or have forgotten them. Violet is a valuable resource.

"Lots of ladies be older than me. They don't know what I know, like how to put up a feast. I know how to sing, to explain the song, and it's hard for them without me. They keep on running back to me asking me. Some of them, they call me professor. They tease me. They call me Kitty Wells. If somebody comes to me and tells me they need help, I'm happy to do it. I feel different. I feel great. I feel young. I want to climb the highest mountains, jump aound and dance."