Thinking about sweethearts

Page 5

Last month I wrote about how important it is to be a dad who's really involved in raising his children. We have six kids we are responsible for (and it seems there's always a few others hanging around.) There are three boys and three girls. It's coming close to Valentine's Day so it's only natural that a guy is thinking about his girls. This picture is of my daughter Kate. She just turned five in January.

I have watched this little girl grow up. I have been with her almost every day of her life. This year she started going to go to school. This has really changed how my little girl is. She never had problems before she went to school. Now she comes home with stories about what did not go right at school. Sometimes she wants me to fix the problems and tells me what she thinks I should do. I have gone and talked to the people at the school because Kate said so.

I was at a meeting of the band yesterday. I watched and listened. I noticed that the women were all sitting together. The men all sat together too. Watching all those old women, I could see their strength. I could see the important role they played at that meeting. They watched. Just like watching their children at the playground, they saw who behaved right. It was only the men who talked and some of the young women. But I knew those old women were watching to make sure that we got everything right. Just because the women, especially the old women, are quiet at meetings does not mean that they are not involved. I saw how quietly and proudly they exercised their responsibilities. I know a lot of outsiders would never understand how our government works and how involved the women always have been just because they are quiet at meetings.

One of my cousins, just a young man, talked a lot. I thought about his mom. I thought about how much she must have taught him for him to behave like that. For him to be able to talk like that. I could see he cared about his people and I knew he got that from his mom. I felt a great pride for him. He stood right up to the lawyer who was trying to tell our community what to do. And I saw his mom watching him.

I started thinking about my wife. She is the one that really talks to our kids, especially the boys. They really listen up when she talks to them about how she expects them to behave. I might be in charge when the rules are broken and have to talk strongly to the boys, but it is always mom who is teaching them the big, important lessons about how to behave as boys learning to be men.

I know that Kate just follows her mom, watching, watching, always watching. This is how she is learning her responsibilities. I realize now just how much our culture and ways are still alive. And today, I am really grateful for the women.

I want to say clearly that I am not saying that women should be at home. I think women should have their careers and education if that's what they want. I think women can and should be leaders. I do not think that disturbs our ways. My heart aches for my wife when the men at her work don't listen to her or respect her. It's hard because I want to protect her from the hurt, but there is no way for me to do that because she works in the world outside our community. I know that "protecting" her is my responsibility as a Cree man. But I am proud of all she has accomplished as a professional person. Each of us has a gift from the Creator. My wife's is to teach. I will always support her in her work and what she decides she has to do.

I think my wife has given me a very great gift. She has been willing to let me stay here with the children. And my daughter Kate, she knows what it means to be a woman. She's always bossing me around. I remember one day my wife and I were talking to Kate about starting school in September. She got a very worried look on her face. Kate is often the "woman of the house" as her mom is away at work at least a few days every week.

She said, "but who's gonna take care of dad and baby Jack" Both the missus and I laughed. I have a great respect for the women, a respect that grew when I was watching how they conducted themselves yesterday. I am grateful that they remember and watch.