Parenting program offered

Page 14

With the laughter from a dozen women drowning out the clatter of five sewing machines churning away simultaneously, the scene is reminiscent of a home economics course. But this isn't high school, and these students aren't concerned about grades.

The sewing lessons come in the middle of a 10-day Aboriginal parenting program offered at the Okimaw Ohci Healing Lodge, located on Nekaneet First Nation. The lodge is one of five women's facilities across the country operated by Correctional Service Canada, and the only one using Aboriginal cultural teachings to help rehabilitate offenders.

While the sewing room is purposefully designed to be stress-free, the parenting program itself is not, as the intent is to get the women to think about motherhood, whether they have children already or not. When they aren't deciding which coloured thread matches the cloth they've chosen, the residents are spending their time in group sessions where they are encouraged to bare their souls to their fellow residents.

"Lots of times when we're in the spiritual lodge it gets really heavy," said resident Maxine Friesen. "Here, we're taking a break and a breather by making a moss bag."

The facilitator of the Aboriginal parenting program is Sheree Thomson, a behavioural councillor at the lodge who's been conducting the program for two years.

Both she and the residents realize Okimaw Ohci is an easier place to do time, but there's a specific rationale for the healing lodge's nurturing environment.

"At first appearance it looks like a cozy place to be, but if you're doing your work and looking inward, it's not comfortable at all," said Thomson.

Deriving its guidelines from a book published by Health Canada in 1997 titled Kisewatotatowin, translated to mean 'great love and respect', the program combines the traditions of the Northern Plains Cree with a contemporary style of parenting.

The Aboriginal parenting program is described as a thorough examination of one's own growth throughout the different stages of life. This includes pre-birth, with the proper care and nutrition when the fetus is in the womb. The program provides participants with basic knowledge of how to raise a child, but for some of the women this information is revolutionary because they themselves were not the beneficiaries of a stable home life with adequate love and respect.

"We ask that they put guilt and shame aside so that they can better grasp and be open to the teachings provided through the Aboriginal parenting program," Thomson said.

Another of the residents participating in the class is Chrissy McKay, a mother of two children-an eight-year-old and a three-year-old. McKay hasn't seen her oldest child since he was three months old, and the younger one, with whom she has monthly visits with, was born in jail.

"This program is really emotional to me because I'm just starting to open up," McKay said. "I feel good because I'm trying to be a mother in some way, even if it's just being in a program."

Thomson says what really hits home for the ladies in these sessions is when they see how poor parenting and other dysfunctional behaviour is repeated throughout the generations and branches out in their family trees. When sitting in the circle, the experiences and traumas the women have endured are used as examples but without judging character.

"We need to allow women to be more respectful with their lives and to take control. This is our foundation here at the lodge," said Thomson.

The results are paying off. McKay, who will be released from the lodge soon, is looking forward to becoming active with her younger child.

"I used to be ashamed to say I had kids but never mothered them. Now that I'm finally believing in myself, they (the other residents) say 'It's okay' and it gives me courage," said McKay.