Couple opens their home and hearts to kids in care

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Five years ago, Donna Falcon read an ad in the paper saying more foster parents were needed. She and her husband Gordon decided they had the time to help.

Since then, the couple estimates they've opened their home up to more than 100 children. They say it's been a positive experience.

"We've been fortunate. Some people have had a hard time, but we've never had to encounter anything like that," said Gordon.

Foster children are not the "problem" kids they're sometimes reputed to be, Donna added. "They're just everyday kids, like our own."

Foster children need someone to show them compassion and care and even just the time of day, said Gordon. "I think every kid deserves a chance.

"We work with them to show them, 'This is our home and we're willing to share it with you, and you need to respect it.'"

'And respect the people in the home,' added Donna. 'They see that here and they pick it up. We've never had any kids that were disrespectful to us or our family."

Currently the Falcons have three foster children in their care, age three, four and 10. They also have seven children of their own, ranging in age from 12 to 26, plus one adopted child. The older children have moved away, but four still live at home.

With all those kids, there are a lot of chores to do.

The Falcons do 14 loads of laundry every second day, and mealtimes are huge.

All the kids help with the chores and follow house rules. This helps them feel at home, Donna said.

"Some will ask, 'Do you want me to do something?'" said Gordon.

"They must have had to do it at home, so they want to continue the routine."

"You have to treat them like they're your own to make them feel comfortable and safe," said Donna.

"That's the biggest thing. They want to belong someplace. If you've got a hug for one of yours, one of them wants a hug," Gordon added.

The Falcons must be succeeding in their efforts to provide a comfortable, safe and welcoming home because often a child who has stayed with them will ask to return to their home if they must come into care again.

"One thing we like is when they get picked up, the kids will ask, 'Can we go to the Falcons'?'" Gordon said.

To learn about fostering, the Falcons have taken training and attended a number of workshops.

"There's always information out there, to learn more about the kids and the needs that they have," said Donna.

"We are a Metis foster home and we have a Metis support group. That's where we get a lot of new information."

During the summer months, the group holds barbecues to raise money for foster family outings such as camping and for a Christmas party.

The Falcons are proud to run a Metis foster home, but they say their doors are open to all children.

"All races come through here. To us, they're just children who need somebody and a place to be. To our kids, they're just kids," said Donna. "We take anyone and everyone. Our doors are open for any age. We went into this business to give these kids a safe place to stay, so it's hard to pick and choose."

After five years at fostering, the Falcons are old hands, and they share their experience with others. Donna helps train new foster parents and Gordon serves as vice-president for the local Foster Parents Association.

There is a need for more foster homes, the Falcons said, and they encourage people to consider becoming foster parents.

"It's not a job everyone can do," Donna said. "You really need to care for kids to be a foster parent. It's a lot of work."

"Commitment's the biggest thing," said Gordon. "You have to enjoy what you're doing."

"You have to be willing to sacrifice, because there's a lot you have to give up if you want to foster. If you go somewhere, you've got to take them all with you," said Donna.

The Falcons have taken as many as 10 children camping before, packing up two vehicles, a trailer and two tents. They've had children stay with them during the Christmas holidays as well.

"In our living room, you can't mov for all the kids and us in there," said Gordon.

"But with gifts and things, you can give them that sense of belonging," Donna added.

Sometimes it's tough to say goodbye when the kids leave, the Falcons admitted.

"We didn't expect to get attached to the kids as much as we do," said Donna. "You get attached to every one of these kids. It's not hard for these kids to become part of your life. It breaks your heart to see them go."

"When you take training, with all the pamphlets and stuff, you're not supposed to get attached. But how can you stop it?" Gordon said. "You've bonded with these kids."

Some of the Falcons' foster children have come back to visit after they've gone home.

"So you know you've touched their hearts," said Donna. "And I guess that's what you want, for them to know they can always come back here and be treated as family."

For information about becoming a foster parent contact the provincial department of Community Resources and Employment at 1-800-667-7002 or visit the department Web site at www.dcre.gov.sk.ca.

You can also obtain information through the Saskatchewan Foster Families Association. Call the association toll-free at 1-866-999-5125 or visit their Web site at www.sffa.sk.ca.