Ogopogo defends the Indians

Page 4

Look out Indians. Here comes the angry taxpayer for more blood. It's referendum time in British Columbia and indignation has overtaken tolerance and sensibility. It's pathetic how these days the cowboys use democracy to fight the Indians.

First Minister Gordo Cambull is upholding his promise to let the non-Aboriginals determine the future for our Aboriginal grandchildren.

Gordo's referendum has eight questions, which can be condensed as follows:

Should we let those Indians have a say in their own lives?

Before I ventured out to find the full text of B.C.'s referendum questions on the World Wide Web, I checked into some regional newspapers in an attempt to feel the pulse of the nation. And right there in plain sight was proof positive that the supernatural world was about to help out the Indians.

A foreign film crew had spent two months in the Okanagan looking for the mythical Ogopogo. They combed the valley and rolled hours, maybe even weeks, of film in search of the elusive creature. But the legendary beast would not avail himself to the celebrity-obsessed film-makers. Apparently, Ogogpogo was on the run 'cause he hadn't filed his taxes in the last 135 years. He didn't need any bad publicity right now.

But a trustworthy friend hinted that Ogopogo might talk to Meganumbe. Ogopogo is rumored to have a particular disposition to Aboriginal media. So I called in some favors and traveled to the valley for what I was told would be a clandestine meeting.

With the Mucktully survey questionnaire in my hands, I went to Kelowna and without much of a problem brought Ogopogo out of hiding to hang with Meganumbe in a downtown park.

With sardines and plankton seeping from the sides of his mouth and really bad breath that nearly knocked me off my feet he growled at me: "Lemme see those questions." After reading the eight questions he shook his head and closed his eyes. His lumps quivered and his mighty tail rose higher than the nearby elms. Suddenly a voice like Tom Jackson's rang out and stunned me.

"I urge all taxpayers to take a swim with me below the surface of Lake Okanagan. Somewhere along the way take a right turn into my memory. Once you are past the fog and the clogged arteries and you are sitting comfortably in the cerebral cortex, here's what you'll remember.

Remember our Indian mothers and fathers, perhaps even our many generations of grandparents, all of whom had to endure the racism and abuse, the cornerstone of colonialism. Think about the small pox epidemics and all the booze poured into the Indians. Remember the hanging of the Chilcotin chiefs, the Ghost dance in Wounded Knee. If you can remember all of these senseless tragedies in our collective experience then throw away your little referendum.

You'll try not to remember the railroads that crossed all of our lands. You'll push away the memories of the army, naval, and air force bases built on the edge of many Indian reserves.

You'll forget about the hydro rights-of-way that cut across our tiny few acres. Most of all there will be a memory block about the river streams and ocean life. You'll forget about the cod, the salmon, the abalone and all of the fresh water trout. The fancy new cow that replaces the buffalo, you forget about it. Never mind the rabbit meat and red potatoes.

The things you won't soon forget are the treaties. All the judges will tell you the Indians were promised many things for the loss of the land, the rivers and the air. The Canadian Constitution and your sacred Charter of Rights will also remind you of the truth.

We'll remember sitting in on all four of the First Ministers conferences, now nearly 20 years ago, when they tried unsuccessfully to define Aboriginal rights. You'll gleefully recall your great hero, Pete Trudeau, as he slammed the Cree tradition of a pipe ceremony by rising to say the Lord's prayer (I think it was for Jack Lord at Hawaii 5-0). You'll fondly remember Rene Levesque, the French guy, blowing circular riglets of smoke from sacred tobacco. But the most memorable will be the legendary Nisga'a leader, Jimmy Gosnell.

Gosnell's famous speech will ring in your ears for decades.

'We own this country, lock, stock and barrel,' he thundered before a befuddled crowd of Canadian premiers. You'll remember that we were not objective bystanders, not in the first year of those fabled conferences anyway. We were tending to be more objective by the fourth and final conference five years later in 1987.

At that last conference Fred Flinstone look alike Bri-um Baloney would be the residing chairman of the board. At its end he cursed the Indians when he stole a line from a Chinese proverb, 'May you live in interesting times.'

More profound words, you'll remember saying at the time, were never spoken.

That day Bri-um warned that: 'There shall be a price to be paid for this failure.' That said, much has happened in the intervening 14 years.

OK, now that's it. That's all I want you to remember for now. Get out of my brain and let's end the trip down memory lane. Go back to where you once belonged or to the shorelines of other long lost memories. As for myself, I'm going back down under where it's reeeeeally dark and where you can find places that have no memory."

With that the Ogopogo slithered off into the depths of his fabled kingdom in Lake Okanagan's unknown depths. I slinked off to my car.

As I drove in the blizzard that swarmed the Coquihalla highway I was overwhelmed by the messages from the supernatural world. It's no longer our blood that will flow in the Indian wars that are about to come. No, the casualty will be benign, another dull memory of the Canadian experience, a raw sampling of democracy.