Long walk ahead for school survivors

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"How devastated our parents must have felt when the [department of Indian Affairs] and RCMP came to apprehend the children. I could never forget how my mom looked running by the train with her arms outstretched and crying. Gradually they turned to alcohol to numb the pain," Martha Joseph said.

On May 26th, Joseph joined two other residential school survivors-Delaney Sharpe and Louise Hall-at the Okanagan Metis Children and Family Services office in Kelowna. The organization hosted a press conference and send-off for the three women taking part in the 2005 Victory Walk for Justice.

Joseph, Sharpe and Hall are walking to Ottawa to raise public awareness about the residential school legacy and related issues surrounding the school system. They expect to arrive in Canada's capital on Sept. 16.

Joseph said it was painful when they threw out her first lawsuit against the government.

"I wanted to go back to my old ways and commit suicide. And then I thought of all the hurting people out there. People that can't step forward and begin their own healing," Joseph said.

This is the sixth year she has set out to walk to raise awareness of issues surrounding residential school survivors.

Arnold August came to the send-off to support the effort.

"My mom went through residential school too, and I didn't even know. That was the breakdown between mother and son. I never knew she went through the same system. I always wondered why she drank so much," August said. August is a survivor of both Kamloops and Cranbrook residential schools, which he attended over nine years. August said that residential school survivors "have to come forward and tell their stories and break that silence. If 1,000 people are telling their stories, they can't say it didn't happen anymore."

The survivors took turns sharing memories about their experiences. Sharpe, who completed the 2004 Victory Walk last year, said, "I remember I couldn't speak English. They said 'Don't speak your language. Just answer when you hear 36.' That was my name. They called us by a number and I didn't even know my own name."

Hall joined the walk because of the ongoing apprehension of First Nation children, including her own grandchildren.

"They apprehend our children for no reason and adopt them out," said Louise Hall. "There are three of us who are sober in our family. We all applied to adopt, but they didn't consider us suitable." She said the apprehension of children is ongoing in this country, only "it's more subtle today," she said.

The walkers were told of an accord that would be struck between the Assembly of First Nations and the government of Canada that might lead to settlements for each of the school survivors, and each woman shared their view of it.

"What they're being given is insulting," said Joseph. "Look how many years we were in."

When Joseph learned there may be an apology in it from the prime minister, she reflected on its importance.

"I'd like to meet Paul Martin, face-to-face. I'd like to watch his face when he apologizes so the whole world can see. But I'm not ready to forgive the people that raped me."

Sharpe said "It would mean a lot for closure in some ways, but I need to see action. To see action to help us on our healing journey."

The walkers will complete the Victory Walk for Justice in about four months. They have been fundraising, which has helped a little, but the women still do not have enough money to make the whole journey. Organizer Donna Delgrosse reminds supporters that the walkers will have to keep up their financial commitments at home, as well as on the road. However, the fact they have not raised enough money did not deter them. They will push their belongings in a baby buggy along the route.

"I brought my tent, so I pitch up a tent. Often I'll ask the First Nations community and they offer a community hall for us to sleep in. One community offered to let us stay in a tipi. That was nea," said Sharpe.

People wanting to support the walkers should contact Donna Delgrosse at ddelgrosse@yahoo.ca or by phoning (613) 831-0135.

As the walkers gathered outside the host organization they each took turns speaking to a small crowd of supporters and media. "Just standing here with these ladies spells out unity," said Hall. "The pain we carry is real, for our people, for our children. How long are we going to walk with this pain?"

Joseph and Sharpe see the walk as a way to give survivors a voice. Joseph said she's feeling, "A little excited. I sure hope people out there help 'cause we're all gonna have bills to pay when we return home. As long as we touch hearts and they know we're walking for them to put a stop to these by-products going any further and so people will understand why their parents and grandparents put them through this, it's worth it."