Ceremony marks survivor's transition to wellness

Page 10

Last fall, in a sacred ceremony at the Tsow-Tun le lum Treatment Centre on Vancouver Island, Jim Bob began to achieve some completion for the pain he suffered as a child.

"The abuse you suffered should not have happened. I am profoundly sorry that it did."

Those words spoken by Brian Thorpe, a senior staff member of the United Church of Canada, were part of the healing process.

Thorpe and Deanna Sitter, a Crown counsel and representative of the federal government, had been invited to attend the healing ceremony for Bob, 65, who had been physically and sexually abused at the Port Alberni residential school where he was institutionalized from age nine to 17.

"It affected all my life," Bob said.

"I was an alcoholic for many years. It affected everything, my marriage, my children, they took away my parenting skills."

Bob received counselling and therapy for many years, but the healing process only began when he turned to his own culture, he said.

"What really helped me is what you are seeing tonight-it was being culturally minded."

The healing ceremony began with a sacred dance by the Skwa Kwa dancers. The room reverberated with the beat and echo of drums and seashell rattles as the masked dancers cleansed and blessed the room.

Emcee Willie Seymour explained that for many years these ceremonies were not allowed and yet they are an integral part of the life of Aboriginal communities.

"The ceremony you are about to witness is one of great, great significance," Seymour said. "This ceremony is sacred to our people because it is the law of our people."

The federal government funded 88 residential schools from the mid-1800s to 1980. Twelve of those schools were administered by the Presbyterian/United Church of Canada. Their purpose, as stated by Sir John A. MacDonald in 1884, was "to educate generation after generation until the nature of the animal is changed by the nature of the surroundings."

"Today," Seymour said, "Jim Bob has the courage to stand up and say 'That was all wrong. It was not just.' The violation on this man is not even human. We don't do that to one another. We take care of one another. We are taught to love one another and today Jim Bob is trying to find reason for forgiveness."

Thorpe, who is on the steering committee of the residential school committee of the United Church, was the first to speak. "I want to honor the courage you have had to tell your story. On behalf of the United Church and myself, I am sorry for what happened. It was not your fault. And I am so honored you had the courage to share your story. I bring you the apology of the United Church of Canada."

Donna Moon, who works with victims of residential schools to facilitate their court cases, addressed Thorpe in front of more than 200 people gathered in the hall and expressed her thanks for the apology. But she also said the apology without action was not enough.

"You need to stop what you are doing in the courts. Jim went through the criminal court case and his abuser was found guilty. And that took tremendous courage to go through that process because there is really no justice in that because the victim has to relive it over and over. He did nothing wrong and he is hurt all over again. If the church truly means everything that you have said here . . . then you need to stop what you are doing in the courts."

Deanna Sitter said to Bob, "On behalf of the government I would like to say I am profoundly sorry. What happened to you as a child was wrong and it was not your fault. You deserved better. We are sorry for the burden we created for your family. The government of Canada accepts responsibility for what happened to you."

The healing ceremony culminated in a feast.

The apologies did not magically take the wounds away, Seymour said, but they marked a turning point for Bob-a sort of rebirth.

Seymour encouraged Bob's family and friends to continue to support him in the years ahead because the pain would return and the despar would return, but with help and support the healing would continue.