Educator finds peace in men's teachings

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Peter Beaucage is an Ojibway man learning how to be responsible for his healing journey, to stand up for his family and to serve his community and Nation. He is married to Debbie, and is the father of two sons and two daughters. A sober parent for 23 years, he is the director of the Drug and Alcohol Abuse Diploma program at Canadore College in North Bay.

The Native Men's Warrior Journey in London was Beaucage's second healing and wellness conference which "opened my eyes to many different areas of being a positive role model," he said.

"Learning about men's responsibilities helped me realize our impact on young people, especially on our community's children and grandchildren. It also reinforced the traditional teachings I have received as a member of the Three Fires Midewiwin Lodge, where we learn about the roles of men, and of women."

Beaucage was impressed with the program presented over three days at the Four Points Sheraton Hotel, in "good company" with 100 other men, especially the "good father" and "developing healthy relationships" workshops.

Being a good father, he learned, involves listening, teaching, using positive reinforcement, being a positive role model, and a loving adult.

In order "to move to a higher level" of relationships, the men were told they must first unlearn old habits and patterns. Once they understand their choices are based on needs and sometimes "neediness," they can begin to develop healthy relationships.

Beaucage said the workshops "were impressive, and as an educator I can use this information in my college curriculum."

All the presenters pointed out that expressing emotions openly, crying to release pain or joy, is a strength rather than a weakness, as many were taught.

"We weren't taught to show our humanity. This has had a major impact on our people, especially men. We were taught to be tough and strong, and we passed those behaviors on to our children who learn from us not to show emotion, which has had a bad effect on them.

"They too, have many difficulties, and this conference has opened my eyes to other ways of healing, to allow yourself to cry, releasing those hurts and pains in life. We can hurt or heal. It's a choice."

Beaucage saw the warrior image become a negative stereotype in the media after Oka and other events, but at this conference, "we found that's not what a warrior is. We learned how to be responsible men. Before we can teach others, we must first understand who we are, how to find ourselves and do our own healing." This conference has helped him to understand the importance of being a man.

Beaucage and his wife will offer tobacco to ask permission to be considered for the second degree in the Three Fires Lodge at the summer ceremonies in Walpole Island.

Beaucage's comments reflect the conference results envisioned by Wellness Institute Director Billy Rogers.

"Men need to know it's okay to be soft-spoken, to have a good heart. You don't need to be tough, to put up a wall in front of you, to drive a wedge between you and your family. We need to open our hearts to forgiveness and love so the teachers, the grandfathers, can come in to teach us many wonderful things to be passed on to the next generation. And the healing process will get better. The more men who do that, the faster healing happens."