THE URBANE INDIAN - An act of Olympic proportions

This should brighten up next winter's blues around here. The International Olympic Games fever has officially come to my Rez. A couple of weeks ago my community got the word that on Dec. 16, the Olympic Torch will wind its way through our sleepy little First Nation on its journey west.
Somehow, on its way from Greece, the original home of the Olympics, to Vancouver for the February 2010 Games, it has to pass through Curve Lake. The International Olympic Committee may want to get a new travel agent. Still, it's caused quite a bit of stir at the local coffee shops... if we had coffee shops.
It will be an interesting event for sure. There are pros and cons to the idea of welcoming the torch. First the cons: It wasn't that long ago when the idea of some person, more than likely a person of non-Native heritage, running through our village waving a flaming torch might not have been so thoroughly welcomed. There's also the issue of Curve Lake being a peninsula. There is only one road in and one road out. The flame might have to be waterproofed. In theory, the Band Office has said, if the lake has frozen sufficiently, the runner could possibly run across the frozen water, as would all his support vehicles.
I'm not sure how much he or she will like that idea.
Around here December is still a little early to be out on the ice, with or without a flaming object. Local legends talk about the bottom of our lakes being piled high with abandoned snowmobiles, evidence of White cottagers eager to take their new Christmas presents out.
So I suppose one little torch wouldn't hurt.
Of course, there is talk about the possibility of taking the torch across the lake in a boat. It would give the runner a chance to catch his or her breath I suppose. It would surely be an odd sight. I doubt the Greeks would have foreseen the torch, a symbol of the Games that started in 776 BC, being carried across the lake in an aluminum boat powered by a 10 horsepower Evinrude motor steered by an Ojibway.
It would kind of take the romance out of it for them I think, but it is very Canadian.
The pros to such a visit are more interesting. It might get people thinking more and more about the benefits of sports. I have thought for many years about joining the world of professional sports, but, alas, my opportunities for such a career are severely limited. The official motto of the Olympic Games is "Citius, altius, forties," which translates as faster, higher, stronger. Unfortunately, my "faster days" are long gone. In fact, there's talk about them actually never existing. I just prefer to think of them as being lost in the mists of time. "Higher" what? Blood pressure? Blood sugar level? Weight? Many of us already have all those, so it's not as if we have to train for it. "Stronger"... that's a possibility. I have been working out... pushing my car out of the snow. Pushing myself off the couch. Lifting the turkey during the holidays. Wrestling with moral dilemmas. Lifting my spirits. Fighting temptation. I do that all the time, but I don't think they are considered official sports.
Actually, I have been contemplating what sport would be good for me to attempt, should I ever work up the nerve. It would have to be a winter sport, of course, in honor of the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. Can't ski. Not that good a skater. The only thing that I could think of was that event I think is called the luge. That's the sport where you go sledding. I always thought that sounded fun. I have done that before, non-professionally of course. And the best part of it is you lie down while doing it.
In fact, you can't win unless you are lying down. Of course, those incredibly tight costumes look a bit... revealing. And I don't think all the spandex in the world would make me aerodynamically desirable. I may have to rethink that option.
Still, the torch will be stopping at many Native communities across Canada as it journeys to the actual Olympic Games. I believe it will be coming from the Mohawk community of Tyendinaga before it hits our shores, which adds an added element of concern. Whoever will be carrying the torch will be surviving on a diet of corn soup, bannock/fry bread, Indian tacos etc?
Good luck with all that running, buddy. You're going to need it.